Limo Street Tales: The Cops Just Needed Hot Chocolate

Jim Luff
Posted on November 30, 2016

Note To Readers: Since I have left the operational side, I am sharing some of the more interesting stories from my career. Marriage proposals gone wrong was the first mini-series shared. For the rest of the month, I will recount memorable events involving me, security guards, and law enforcement officers.

Beware of busybody security guards when pulling up malls (Photo posted by Cliff via Flickr.com)
Beware of busybody security guards when pulling up malls (Photo posted by Cliff via Flickr.com)
My city has an affluent neighborhood where all neighbors try to out-do each other with holiday decorations. They are so elaborate that traffic becomes a nightmare as buses, limos, cars and even horse drawn wagons tour the curvy, winding streets. It's the place to see the holiday lights in this city.

It can easily take an hour or more to complete all the streets. Needless to say, a potty break must be done soon after completing this neighborhood. And so, the tale begins at the fancy-schmancy mall just outside the walls of the neighborhood. A place where Kelly's Fudge sold desserts and hot chocolate to warm up on a cold winter night. Going to Kelly's to use the restroom and get some hot chocolate was a staple of my nightly light tours. Kelly and the passengers appreciated it. The only ones who didn't appreciate it were the pesky mall cops. These guys would make Paul Blart, the fictional mall cop in the movie, "Mall Cop," proud!

As I exited my limo to open my passenger door, a mall cop rode up on a bike and screamed at me. "You cannot park this limousine here. Move it right now!" Despite the fact he was yelling at me like a maniac, I focused on assisting my passengers out of the car. They hesitated to get out. I told them it was okay to go get their fudge and hot chocolate and I would be waiting right here when they came out.

I'm not really as much as a rebel as these stories might imply. But, I hate people yelling and getting upset over nothing. The guard told me if I didn't move, he would call his supervisor. Oh, no! Not the mall security supervisor! I made him do it. I refused to move and then explained how brief this stop would be to the supervisor. He demanded I move the vehicle immediately or he would be forced to call the police. "Call them," I said.

Much to my chagrin, a police car pulled in behind my limo about two minutes later. I was astonished. The two cops got out of their squad car and began walking towards Kelly's Fudge. The supervisor yelled at them, "I am the one that called you." The cops stopped walking and asked why he called. He told them. They looked at me. They looked at him. One of them said, "We just stopped by to get some hot chocolate. We aren't here on a call. We don't handle parking issues in private parking lots. Save your calls to us for a time you really need it."

You just know I had to get one last word in. "So, I bet you feel about as important as a McDonald's cashier right about now—don'tcha?"

Next week, I'll share about the cop who was going to take me to jail and his sergeant who showed up at the scene to give me a deposit for a limo ride.

Related Topics: chauffeur training, driver behavior, driver training, Jim Luff, law enforcement, Shop Talk blog

Jim Luff Contributing Editor
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